In issue one of "Jack and Lucky," Jack fails to flirt with an artsy
gal at a bookstore (she is later revealed to be involved with an oaf
resembing Ron Jeremy); he and his cat temper their loneliness by
watching porn together, and finally resolve to take a walk in the park
to look for ladies. The plan is brilliant: parks, as it turns out, are
populated entirely by tall, skinny white girls who wear the shortest
shorts and tightest tops ever devised, and who also apparatly have
never heard of braziers. Jack flirts good-naturedly with a lady named
Luna, and all goes according to plan until Luna's dog develops an
interest in attacking the giant cat. Suddenly, the story turns from a
gen-x-ish dialogue piece into an action adventure, with Jack thrown
over of a cliff in the scuffle. Suspense!

Words cannot possibly express what a gold mine "Millie the Model" and
"Patsy Walker" are. Originally published by Marvel in the mid-sixties,
the strips are a camp dream come true. Dreadfully cheap coloring (they
make Archie comics look like they belong in a museum), recycled
character poses, some of the most hideous outfits we've ever seen ...
and oh lord, the dialogue. "How DARE you tell ME how to pose!" "Clicker
Holbrook, if you try to KISS me, I'll call for HELP!" "The only way YOU
could win a beauty contest is with your FACE tied behind you!" Oh
Millie, stop, please, we're in stitches. Seriously.
And we can't stress fully enough how ghastly these women are
dressed. All of the wardrobe designs are credited to submissions from
readers such as Linda Zacharais of Holland, Ohio; Molly Slocum of
Portland, Oregon; Glenda Butcher of Queensland, Australia; Vicky Crab
of LeClaire, Iowa; Gay Goodenough of Hingam, Massachusetts; and Melvin
Stewart of Rochester, New York. Why do we mention all those names here?
Because they are all funny. Very very very funny.
God bless Marvel for reprinting this treasure. The books seem to
have been written with the attitude that women are frivolous, posable
props who care only about clothing and cattily one-upping each other in
front of men. Originally intended to make comics palatable to girls
(the very idea), they've now become a sort of Bible for aspiring drag
queens.
And speaking of frivolous, let's give a mention to "Agents of
Atlas," a sort-of origin story that's set in the old-timey golden-age
Marvel Universe, back before the company changed its name from Atlas to
Marvel. A team of superpowered heros rescue Eisenhower from a
thoroughly enjoyable cabal of Chinese and German villains, then
disband, then re-band years later to fight a ... um ... something. It
gets a little vague toward the end what their actual goal is.
The flashbacky adventure stuff in the beginning is DY-NO-MITE pulp.
Insane villains, ghosts, the all-American Marvel Boy, nonstop action,
and ham-and-cheese dialogue like "the Yellow Claw uses super-science,
magic, and he's probably still got that crazy Nazi working for him." Va
va va voom! But then, it gets all gritty and modern; and it turns into
that same old blah-blah-blah that you can read in any Marvel book. Or
any DC book, for that matter -- they're so hard to tell apart
sometimes. We'd love to keep following along if we get more flashbacks
to the good old days, before heros devoted more time to smirking and
glowering than to heroics. Issue one ends with a resurrection of sorts,
so we're cautiously optimistic that, at the very least, we can look
forward to some of that fun old-fashioned tone being applied to
modern-day proceedings.