Giving Yourself a Crash Course in Gay (Ep. 26 - Cinephiles)

Alonso Duralde (photo: Gabriel Goldberg)

Last week I spoke with Dave White, one half of the movie-reviewing team Linoleum Knife. This week, I'm joined by Dave's partner and husband, Alonso Duralde, who lives film every moment of his life.

Alonso just returned from the Venice Film Festival, because wherever there's an intriguing image projected on a giant screen in a darkened room, Alonso is there. That affinity for film dates back to his early childhood, when he was part of a brood of seven kids. Despite the chaos of growing up in such a large family, his parents always made time to settle in for a good classic film. As a kid, movies were how he connected with family and friends. As student, movies showed him what gay life could be. And as an adult, it was movie theaters that brought him closer to the man he loved.

Alonso made about two dozen movie references in our conversation, so hopefully you've got a full list of movies to watch for the next few weeks. But just in case you need more, I highly recommend his two books, 101 Must-See Movies for Gay Men and Have Yourself a Movie Little Christmas.

I first discovered Alonso's work about a decade ago, when he gave a presentation on 101 Must-See Movies at Frameline, San Francisco's LGBT film fest. Over the course of an hour and a half, he raced through over a hundred incredible films with a zeal for the art form that bordered on religious. Some I'd heard of, many were new to me, and there is not a single title among them that you can afford to miss.

His second book, Have YourSelf a Movie Little Christmas, is similarly invaluable, particularly at this time of year. Now is the time to start planning which holiday films you'll gorge on this year, and this book will serve as a helpful little elf to guide you through your options.

What makes both books so wonderful is their incredible diversity, from Funny Girl to Opposite of Sex to Showgirls to Gods and Monsters. Each movie is an entirely fresh window into the queer experience -- a buffet of possibilities, a homosexual cabaret.

And while you're at it, don't forget to pick up a copy of Exile in Guyville, Dave White's book about how he picked up his life and moved to West Hollywood with Alonso years ago. What started out as a series of funny emails to family and friends became a blog, then a monthly article, and then finally a book about Dave's exploration of his new life with Alonso on the West Coast. Alonso's books contain windows into gay worlds; Dave's is a window into those windows.

Subscribe to Linoleum Knife here.

Music:
Parisian Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Terrifying and yet Intriguing (Ep. 25 - Punk Rock)

Dave White and Alonso Duralde

Where's the line between dangerous and safe, and when is it time to cross it?

My guest this week is Dave White, one half of the fantastic Linoleum Knife team. You need to go subscribe to the podcast of the cinema that Dave does with his husband Alonso -- Linoleum Knife is a show that's as much about their love for movies as their lives together.

When young Dave's family fell into disarray, he discovered that the church could provide some much-needed structure. It was a refuge for him -- but as much as it kept the chaos out, religion also kept Dave in. He knew he was missing something, but wasn't sure what it was until that something called to him unexpectedly late one Saturday night. Punk rock had found him, offering him tempting, terrifying freedom. Answering the call would mean leaving the safety that he had counted on behind.

Music:
Parisian Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Cecil B. DeMille of Porn (Ep. 24 - Batman & Chi Chi LaRue)

How do you kick start your creativity? That's always been a challenge for my guest this week, Michael Strangeways, editor of the site Seattle Gay Scene. Growing up in the town graveyard, he bounced around creatively from acting to writing to selling porn, all the while searching for his muse. 

It was only after quite a few years, frequent relocation from city to city, and deft avoidance of a scary clown that he finally found some creative fullness, by peeking into the personal life of Drag Race star Jinkx Monsoon. 

As we discussed in this episode, check out how great Eartha Kitt is as Catwoman: 

And Dark Shadows! That song!

And here's the trailer for my recommendation at the end of this week's episode, Adults Only:

Music:
Parisian Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

I Prefer the Term "Enchanted" (Ep. 23 - Magic, Puppetry, and Mr. Rogers)

Where do you find magic in the mundane? For me, it's knitting -- there's just something enchanting about the idea that you can wrap some string around two sticks, bang them together for a while, and then suddenly there's a scarf in your lap.

My guest this week is Joe, though Minnesotans may know him as his alter ego, Girtha Rotunda. From an early age, he was obsessed with the land of make-believe, with imaginary worlds, with magic tricks and the show Bewitched.

And so as an adult, he dedicated himself to conjuring up magic wherever he went: from stages to military bases to bars to his very own private ice cream truck.

Here's a clip of Fred discussing sweaters, which sadly I can't embed here. But I can embed a little Ed Wynn!

Music:
Parisian Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

There's Something About Not Giving a F*ck (Ep. 22 - Nintendo Games & John Waters)

How do you escape from an oppressive upbringing or overbearing religion when it's all you've ever known? When rules have defined your whole life, sometimes it feels like there's simply no other way to live.

My guest this week is Austin Curtis, who grew up in a massive Mormon family surrounded by midwestern prairie. It wasn't until started to become aware of a world outside of that bubble that Austin realized there might be more to life than living up to the expectations of others. 

But figuring out just what that life looked like would take some effort. Like a hero on a quest, he'd need some help. After all, it's dangerous to go alone.

Music:
Parisian Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

I'm Rooting for the Pig (Ep. 21 - The Muppet Show)

Photo: Brave Lux

What's more chaotic than a life in the theater? Well, life in general, for one thing. Messier than any play, life has a way of hiding surprises in the wings, needing re-writes on the fly, and breaking legs. You might forget your blocking, and just become blocked. But every now and then, there are those moments of applause that keep us on stage.

My guest this week is Chicago actor, radio host, and comedian Scott Duff, who at an early age felt the lure of a theater, of a microphone, of a spotlight. If you set out to build the perfect performer, you could do no better than Scott. Not just because of the natural charisma he exuded during his childhood one-boy productions of the musical Annie -- but because he never allowed setbacks to stop him, onstage or off.

And there were plenty of opportunities to storm off to a dressing room and hide. But he didn't -- not through breakups, and suffering in closet. Not through times of tragedy, when family and friends were suddenly gone. Not even when Tennessee forced him for years to maintain the illusion that he was a heterosexual drama teacher did Scott ever give up dreaming of his next big performance.

And what he found is that even when the material's lame, the theater's falling apart, and the audience is lousy, the curtain might always go up on something better the following night. The show must go on.

It's hard for me to choose which Muppet clips I want to include here, because I would like to just watch Muppets on YouTube all day long. But here are a few that came up in this episode:

Music:
Parisian Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

I Could be Black and Gay and Also a Writer (Ep. 20 - Will & Grace and Langston Hughes)

Perfectionism -- and I say this as a recovering perfectionist myself -- is a powerfully destructive force. It can drive you to achieve great things, but it comes at a price, since it demands that you hold yourself to an impossible standard.

That's because "perfect" doesn't really exist. Nobody's perfect, because perfection is something we make up, an unachievable ideal to measure our shortcomings.

My guest this week is Zach Stafford, a writer for The Guardian. As a kid, he couldn't figure out where he fit in the world. He was the only bi-racial kid in his little Tennessee suburb, and if that didn't set him apart enough, he was also the swishiest person he knew.

And so he set out to be perfect. Get perfect grades. Work a perfect job. Be perfect in church. Look perfect. Feel perfect. 

But that pressure took a heavy toll. And he discovered that as figments of the imagination go, perfectionism can be one of the most dangerous.

---

You can find Zach @zachstafford on Twitter, and also at TheGuardian.com. His book, Boys, is available on Amazon.

During this episode, he mentioned Giovanni's Room -- here's a link. And here's the Langston Hughes chapter, "Salvation," that I recommended at the end of this week's episode.

And speaking of Will & Grace, here is an episode that features what I think is one of Jack's best moments.

Here is a video that compiles some of Will & Grace's complex cultural attitudes:

Music:
Parisian Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Drag Clothing for GI Joes (Ep. 19 - The Birdcage)

Photo by Nicole Radja

How much freedom to you give your inner sissy? Or do you try to rein it in, like a disobedient pinkie bestride a tiny teacup?

My guest this week is Chicago playwright Philip Dawkins, who was brought up in an intensely religious home. He was basically born flaming, and the church did its best to scare the queer out of him. For a time, he gave in, but that inner sissy had a way of making itself known in strange ways, such as doll larceny, illicit drag, and inappropriately erotic playwriting.

Try though as he might to blunder and butch his way through the world, in the end there was just no way to stop that inner sissy from breaking free. It just needed a little help from Agador Spartacus.

Here are some truly wonderful sissies:

And the fabulous Stephen Stucker being amazing on Donahue:

Music:
Parisian Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The Witch's Perspective (Ep. 18 - Wicked)

How different is your life in the closet from your life out of the closet? Well on one hand, it's completely different -- living openly and honestly, giving yourself permission to do what makes you happy, refusing to feel ashamed -- when you come out, everything changes.

Well, maybe not everything. My guest today is Michael Price, whose Mormon upbringing prepared him for a life of productive heterosexual matrimony. Nothing was more important than family. Family defined who he was. And when he realized that he'd rather dance with boys than girls, it seemed like he'd have to abandon all of the plans he'd laid out for his life, since as he learned from television, the gay lifestyle is one of debauchery and hedonism and endless loneliness.

He thought he might overcome his crisis by simply turning it off, he assumed he was literally the only gay kid at his school of 30,000 students, and he was terrified that the people he loved would abandon him. Worst of all, Michael thought that being gay meant that his dreams of marrying and having a family were over.

And it's true that coming out radically transformed his life. He'd always thought that being gay made him a villain. But it discovered that wickedness can depend on your point of view. And more importantly, he found that while being honest about yourself might change your plans, it doesn't have to mean changing who you are.

Here's the big number, Defying Gravity, at the Tonys:

And while we're at it, Turn it Off from Book of Mormon:

Music:
Parisian Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Libraries Have Always Felt Safe (Ep. 17 - Redwall and The Virgin Mary)

What's the place where you feel the most safe and protected and secure? It's something different for everyone. I grew up playing in trees, so for me, it's any forest. And for Richard, my guest this week, it's a library.

I visited Richard at his home in Chicago, which is why you'll hear a the train rumbling by in the background every now and then. Richard's home is piled high with books, to the point that the stacks are starting to morph into furniture. It's amazing and I'm pretty jealous, because it's a lot easier to fit a library into your apartment than a forest.

There's no better feeling than creating a sanctuary where you live, whatever that sanctuary happens to be. If you're lucky, and you're in control of your surroundings, you can shape your whole world into anything you want it to be. But what if you live in someone else's world -- for example, a queer person surrounded by hostile heterosexuals? Well then you have to do the best you can -- often by creating a secret little pocket of a world that you can escape into. For a long, long time, that's what LGBTs have had to do, with gay ghettos and windowless bars and drag balls and certain seminaries. 

And although he's free to enjoy his own library today, for years Richard was forced to create a secret sanctuary of his own, growing up in surroundings that he simultaneously loved and feared.

Redwall was turned into an animated show -- here's the pilot: 

Music:
Parisian Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/